in·ter·de·pen·dence/ˌin(t)ərdəˈpendns/noun: interdependencythe dependence of two or more people or things on each other.
Dr. Jack Hayford writes:
“Furthermore, “order” is not all there is to the point; it is about relationship, interdependency, and God's original design. In essence, the man and woman began as one in Adam. After the divine surgery, cleaving and submitting where the dynamic that would keep them united in relationship and function as they manifested the image of God, male and female, in the earth.”
You might be thinking what does this have to do with prayer?
We must first understand the importance of God's design for marriage in order for us to grasp the importance of prayer over the person we have become one with. Your prayers aren't only important they are necessary.
In the book of James he makes reference to the importance and the power of prayer using Elijah as an analogy. Let's look at James 5:13:
13 Is anyone among you suffering? Then he must pray. Is anyone cheerful? He is to sing praises. 14 Is anyone among you sick? Then he must call for the elders of the church and they are to pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord; 15 and the prayer of faith will restore the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up, and if he has committed sins, they will be forgiven him. 16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. A prayer of a righteous person, when it is brought about, can accomplish much. 17 Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the earth for three years and six months. 18 Then he prayed again, and the sky poured rain and the earth produced its fruit.
When we understand the importance and the power of our prayers, then we can come into alignment with the Kingdom of heaven. First to understand the importance of prayer, we must understand God’s design. God's design is to partner with his people on earth through the place of prayer to see his Kingdom manifested “on earth as it is in heaven”. Now when we come into alignment with that reality, our prayers begin to look a little different. Instead of asking through a traditional prayer for our own personal gain, we then switch our gaze and focus on intercession which is praying for destiny in others and the will of God to be done here on earth.
Let's look at this in the context of marriage, interdependence, and prayer. When we took vows before the Lord we joined to our husband as one. As one body, when we align with God's design to partner with his people through prayer and focus our prayers on our spouse then in essence our prayers are being poured over our own body. So, when we pray for our husbands, it's for us together in unison. God created us to be interdependent to one another surrendered and submitted as one flesh. When we come to the place of prayer for our spouse, we are now becoming dependent on the Lord God our creator to fulfill his design for our marriage and pray prayers of intercession and destiny over our family. Surrender is powerful to the King of Kings. Humility is a sweet fragrance to the Lord of all. And a pure righteous heart seeking the Lord and praying prayers of intercession will move the Father's heart. “A prayer of a righteous person, when it is brought about, can accomplish much.”
Now that we have established why we pray, let's talk about how we pray for our husbands. Let's look at Ephesians 5:
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
This is a beautifully written scripture outlining a husband's call to his wife. If you ever want to pray a powerful prayer, start by praying scripture.
Now how do we take this scripture and turn it into prayer?
Let's look at the key points:
- Husbands love your wife:
The original Greek work for Love is (Agapoa) – the translation is unconditional and sacrificial love
- Husbands be like Christ who gave himself up holy and blameless.
- Husbands Feed and Care for their wife
The original Greek work for Feed (Ektrepho) - the translation is support growth and maturity
The original Greek work for Care (thalpo) - the translation is warmly care and attend to
- Husbands and wives are designed to be united as one flesh
Now let’s turn that into prayers: (each prayer point is based off the key points pulled from the scripture in Ephesians)
Prayer Point 1:
Father, I thank you for the unconditional and sacrificial love that you give us. I pray that you would continue to move in my husband's life manifesting that same love through him, every day. Thank you for constantly revealing this unconditional and sacrificial love to my husband that it might overflow from him onto his family and everyone he is in contact with. Let him not only give love unconditionally and sacrificially but let him also experience others pouring into him in an unconditional and sacrificial way as well.
Prayer Point 2:
Father, thank you for sending your son to be the ultimate model. I thank you that because of Jesus and the life he lived for his church giving of himself wholly and blameless, that we have destiny, freedom, and redemption. I pray that my husband will have a fresh revelation of who Jesus is and understand how he gave himself for the church. I pray that you would be with my husband every day to help him walk as Jesus walked. I pray that you will keep him undefiled, uncompromising, holy, and righteous all the days of his life. I pray he will be bold and selfless like Jesus. I pray my husband will walk in humility and in the power of the Holy Spirit. Be with him, teach him, care for him, nurture him, give him all knowledge, and all wisdom according to your word.
Prayer Point 3:
Father, I thank you that you have made my husband mature. I thank you that your word is his constant companion and helps instruct him in all his ways. Now Lord, would you make him tender. Tender to the holy spirit, tender to your revelation, tender to the people in his life, filled with compassion, and walking in all your ways. In that tenderness, give him eyes to see the opportunity to feed and care for our family. Use him as a beacon in our family to help us grow and mature. Cause the tenderness of his affection to grow and warmly attend to our family and all that he is connected to, just like Jesus.
Prayer Point 4:
Father, I thank you for your design for marriage. I thank you for the beauty that unity brings. I pray that today you will unite my husband and I. We are one according to your word. Help us to not bicker, slander, or quarrel, but speak life, blessings, and encouragement to one another. Father, help us to not take the bait of Satan to speak ill over each other but in all our ways submit it to you and let only life be found in our tongue.
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